Reflections

   Ah, I'm excited for this one! Alright, so in Everyday Use Alice Walker writes about the choices a child has in shaping their identities. Who will they be? Society says there's two choices: either you turn out just like your parents, or you rebel and try to become as different from the as possible. However, if you ask anyone which category that they fall into you'll get a response that sounds something like "Well, I'm not EXACTLY like my parents, but I'm not THAT different..." So, there's a third option? A blend of the old and new? What does it look like?
   Before we get into that though, I'd like to analyze the first two choices a little further. Why do some people turn out as cookie cutter images of the people who raised them? The answer lies in the question, that's how they were raised. In Alice Walker's story, the character that fits this description is Maggie. She is portrayed as being more ignorant an uneducated, but that isn't the case for all of the people who fall under this category. Some people are just scared to break the pattern. What will people say, how will they react to you being different than your parents? Even more terrifying is, how will your parents react? Will they be hurt because you're different? Here's a look at option 1 And the second choice, the child who chooses to disregard most everything they've been raised on. They see faults in how they were brought up, so they completely turn against it. They think they are better than their parents, that they've chosen a higher path.
    And then we're left with the elusive third option, a blend of the two. What I see this as is a child who realizes that, yes, there may be faults with their parents, however, a child who doesn't disregard their roots. Although it may seem an impossible task to mix the two, it can happen. You have to accept yourself and accept your differences from your family before you can mesh into that third option. Instead of pushing your parents and their ideals away, think about the good you see in them. What can you take away from them in order to be a better person? What things could you change?
     Many teens have this problem, they don't see eye to eye on everything with their parents, yet they don't want to dishonor them. Here's my favorite example! I've been seeing this happen in my own life as well. Let me set the scene: my dad and I, we can be like the same person. We have the same humor, talk the same, eat the same, we basically can read each other's minds. However, my very conservative father has different views on some things than I do, one in particular is the morality of being gay. Well, that could be a problem if I ever decide to introduce my girlfriend as my girlfriend, huh? But just because he wouldn't approve that I prefer my wonderful girlfriend over immature high school guys, doesn't mean that we can't still laugh and be weird together.  I've realized recently that I don't have to be exactly like him, but I don't have to lose the things we have in common either.

   If we want to get in the honor side of things, can we PLEASE talk about Mulan? I mean if you've clicked on the links you'd know that I already have touched on her a bit. She's a freaking badass, but became so by embracing the third option. She realized that she wasn't meant to be "the perfect bride", she was destined for a different future. However, by taking her father's place in war, she knew she was breaking tradition and felt as if she was dishonoring her family. When she returned to her family, she had immediate respect and her family embraced her for all she'd done. She accepted herself, so others were able to do the same. Mulan is the ultimate example of what the third option looks like.

   You just have to find the perfect balance, the perfect give and take! I'm sure it's a struggle that continues for your whole life, but we all gotta try!