The Things I Carry

Carry. I'm beginning to really dislike the word. It means so many things, why not make different words for each one? The English language could always use a few more words, right? Anyway, on with the show

Physical things. I cannot leave my house without-- wait for it-- chapstick! Lame right? I'm an addict, I've tried all the kinds, EOS, Burt's Bees, Chapstick, ChapIce, literally everything. I have AT LEAST 4 types on me at all times. Applying it has become a habit too, like clockwork I put some on at the same times every day, even when I don't need it. Mmm chapstick.

Goals. I don't know too  much about what I want to do with my life, I absolutely hate thinking about the future. Thinking about colleges has got me freaked out! However, I do know that my ultimate goal is to be happy-- something that I don't normally consider myself. I want to get there though, through successes, through friendships, through education, whatever it takes. I'll be happy one day.

Relationships. My friends, my girlfriend, they all are huge inspirations. Normally, this section would be totally devoted to them and how much I love them and how awesome they are. However, this week I want to dedicate it to my grandpa who passed away on Wednesday. It's weird not seeing someone that you've seen everyday, someone who's lived with you (even if it was only for 5 months, although I saw him every Sunday from the time I was born until now) He was always so proud of me, and encouraged me in everything I did. He even quit smoking for me (because I had to get stitches when I broke a glass ashtray on my foot!), I'm really going to miss having him around, even though his dementia had gotten the better of him for the last 3 years. Our relationship is one that I'll always carry with me.

Personality. I like to believe that I'm funny. People tell me I am, I have my dad's sense of humor, and I think he's funny so... I also have a tendency to put my friends before myself, like, always. I've been that person that's there for my friends at 4 a.m. when they need someone to talk to. I like being the one to make someone feel better, to make them happy. Finally, I'm pretty darn weird. I'm not sure of anyone else who watches jewelry channels for fun or who communicates through purely noises because I don't feel like forming words.I feel like my personality makes me unique, and it's something that I'm proud to carry.

Memories. I carry the experiences I've had, the people I've met. I carry the good memories, how we got my dog, the first time I held hands with my girlfriend, when my brother sings and dances around the house. I carry the bad memories, that one time I got attacked, the church counselors, that one summer. Memories that have shaped me, for better or for worse. These are the things I carry.

note: I'm sorry if this sucked or if it's hard to follow, my mind hasn't been in it for the past few days because of the funeral and stuff and yeah